


Forever

by Skitter160 (Shinigamibutter)



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Bittersweet, Contemplation, Drabble, Implied Relationships, Introspection, Junk, M/M, What Ifs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 13:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21119714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigamibutter/pseuds/Skitter160
Summary: Madara knows he's caught in something he never wants to end. And while he can lie to Natsume, he can't lie to himself. Not forever.





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Uh...I haven't finished this or come anywhere near but I couldn't stop myself. Not after the mermaid chapter.

The thought was fleeting, an echo of a thought really. Or that's what Madara told himself as he curled around Natsume's sleeping form. The tip of his tail flicking in agitation in much the same way an actual cat's would. A habit he'd never admit to picking up somewhere along the acquaintanceship he'd had with humans. Not that anyone would ever be around to ask about it as the only time he did it was when Natsume was sleeping.

Just like now. Only unlike most nights the human was sleeping soundly and it was Madara that couldn't find solace in the night. He knew not even alcohol would allow him to forget what he'd said, what he'd thought. No matter how fleeting. No matter the fact he couldn't possibly have meant it. Not really. 

Except he knew, even months later, long after he'd never thought it, that he still thought it. That he actually couldn't quite stop thinking about it. Especially in moments like this, watching Natsume's even breathing and feeling his life, his power near him. Knowing that one day it wouldn't be. That just like Reiko he'd disappear. 

Only unlike Reiko, this time he wasn't sure he wanted to let go. But he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. Not again. Not after Natsume had brushed off the comment once before. Had brushed off the very idea of living forever, while simultaneously wishing for a forever that would never come. Because just like he'd told him by the mermaid's lake he wouldn't always be there to help. At least that's what he'd told himself. 

Lies. He knew. But lies Natsume could believe. Lies Madara himself wanted to believe as he shifted back to the form Natsume liked best, Nyanko Sensei. Settling his body into a warm chest that welcomed him, an arm draping over him in a sign of affection even in sleep. So he settled into the now, content for the moments he could have. And he told himself that even with a mermaid's help he couldn't have forever anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I'll write more when I'm further into the series. Maybe not


End file.
